fiction | we have to free them

it’s been a while since i’ve written something that wasn’t tied into bailey’s story.
i wanted to write today – to share something i’ve been brewing since i saw this prompt.
i’m not sure if i’ll continue this into a new series…it all depends on the day i suppose 😉
i’m interested to hear y’alls response, and be kind this is a very rough, unedited version!

writing prompt: write a short scene starting with these words: These are the things i no longer wish to understand.

these are the things i no longer wish to understand.
if i would have known that turning 25 would come at such a price i would have gone on a journey to find the potion that keeps you 17 forever. i’ve heard they exist, at least that is what andrew used to tell me when the curfew was enforced 13 years ago. we were 12, the government was fighting for control after the last few raids, and overnight a new law was written: 8pm curfews, whispers were forbidden, we couldn’t cross city lines, and marriages would be chosen by the elected government based on our genetics when we turned 18. age 17 was the perfect place to be, the year before my arranged marriage i was granted freedom to whisper, explore the forest, and stay out until 10. i learned a lot in that year, more than they realize, many of us did – and the government should be afraid. we are still whispering, sneaking out past 8, scouring the forest, and finding answers. andrew and i were arranged together, and we’re thankful because we really do love each other, but the others…the other’s weren’t so lucky and we need to free them. we’ve learned that if the marriages fail they take them in the night. we’ve been able to track them to a bunker deep in the woods and we don’t know what they are doing to them; testing? imprisonment? execution? but they’ve taken amelia and eric…and we have to free them.

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feel free to browse through other stories here.

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bailey | the why

woohoo, i finally wrote more of bailey’s story – i mean the last installment was only in june 😉
i’m floored that so many of you enjoy reading my ramblings and attempts at fiction, so thank you!
i’m still wrestling through where to take this – how to unfold it – how to tie in all of the thoughts, directions, characters, and emotions i’m having to the plot line. i honestly have no idea how professional authors do this – trying to get out what unfolding in your head/heart while also trying to keep the reader entertained, hooked, and satisfied. whew it is a lot of hard work.
i wrote this while on the road trip – we hit a rain storm while driving through the mountains and i listened to some james bay and everything just flowed.
so, enjoy! 

I would suggest you start this story from the beginning, so you’re clued in.
(go top to bottom on the links)
bailey | the brokenness
bailey | the number three
bailey | speaking
bailey | the call
bailey | echoes

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why, she cried, i’ve been replaying all of it – all of us – over and over and i can’t figure it out.
her hand covered her face, defeated – frustrated.
there was a long pause.
it wasn’t that i haven’t been happy bay, i just…i don’t know…i’ve been trying to figure out how to explain…and the only thing i could figure out is that i was curious.
the knife in her heart twisted.
he was curious?
she couldn’t keep him intrigued – her own husband.
curious of what exactly?
he exhaled loudly, attempting to gather his thoughts.
curious of the what if – i never had closure with ash…her…so i wondered what would have happened; and when i saw her again those thoughts were re-awkwaked.
he fumbled with his hands.
i never meant to start something, to even attempt to hurt our marriage, he gestured between them, Bay, this…you…mean everything to me; when i met her for coffee i just lost something – my perspective.
your dignity she thought.
her heart was hammering against her chest.
blood was flooding her ears.
how long? she asked.
how long what? he stammered.
she pointed a look at him, isaac, how long?
8 months he whispered.
the silence hung there, stretching out and suffocating her.
she felt like she was drowning.
8 months. she finally said. 8 months, she repeated.
he looked at her.
we’ve been trying for 10 months isaac – trying to make…to make a… sobs tore from her chest.
he reached for her, his hands skimmed her forearm.
she moved out of his touch.
does she know you are married? she spit out.
that you were trying to start a family with your wife?…not that it mattered, she thought.
yes and no…we didn’t discuss that, he stood so close to her.
8 months she whispered.
do you love me? she looked into his foreign eyes.
forever he responded without hesitation.
then why…how could you do this to me? she hugged herself tighter.
how could you step outside the vows of our marriage?
he paced five feet and turned towards her.
i ask myself the same question – i’ve asked myself the same question since i had coffee with her, how could i be so weak? how could i hurt and betray the woman i love and want to start a family with? how could i even jeopardize this? – Bailey i don’t know why i did this, or at least i can’t give you a justified explination. curiosity is the reason – but it isn’t why i continued. but i am not left un-fulfilled by you.
he paused – tension filling the silence
i am not left un-fulfileld by you kept repeating in her mind.
silence stretched on.
time ran faster.
nothing was making sense.
isaac wasn’t making sense.
this woman didn’t make sense.
do you want me to leave? isaac asked.
i don’t want you to stay she replied.
but i don’t know how to feel, i’m so torn. you have ruined so much she whispered.
i know he responded.
i’ll come over tomorrow to talk more, you need to think. 
he grabbed his keys, brushed her fingers with his and left.

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bailey | echoes

i’ve been so unsure of where to take this story.
i still am unsure – hence the lack of writing. 
but as i sat in the quiet of my room something came to me – so out of the blue i almost didn’t write it down. it’s rough, unedited, and probably a little choppy.
but this is another piece of bailey’s story. 
another moment woven through her heartbreak. 
it is a continuation of her last meeting with isaac, maybe you need to refresh your mind since i haven’t written since february. (whoops)
read bailey’s entire story here.
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echoes

there was something about the tone of his voice.
she couldn’t quite place it, yet her heart constricted.
it knew.
she had been here before.
his fingertips grazed the inside of her elbow.
will you at least tell me what you are thinking he half whispered.
could she tell him that she wasn’t fully sure what she was thinking.
so clouded with emotion.
so numb from the pain.
so disconnected from anything that reminded her of him.
she had to – otherwise she would crumble.
self-preservation at its finest.
bay…please. his fingers trailing towards her wrist.
his tone soothed her; his tone irritated her.
her body betrayed her, leaning into his touch.
her eyes lifted to meet his.
instead of isaac she was greeted with a man she never knew.
a shell of an honest man.
an echo of a faithful soul.
isaac was gone.
who are you? she demanded.
his eyelashes shuttered.
really isaac, who are you?
she intertwined her fingers to keep from reaching towards him.
his calloused fingers ran through his hair.
she heard the unshaven stubble connect with his hand as it over his
face.
without you…i honestly don’t know.
how cliche.
how lovely.
how hurtful.
you came here to talk to me…i’m guessing to explain, go ahead.
the couch shifted under his weight.
his head in his hands.
he stumbled out, where do you want me to start?

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i wish i could give you more.
hopefully with all of the rain falling this weekend i will be moved to write.
bailey is weighing heavy on my heart.

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bailey | the call

after reading kikis new fiction post i knew i needed to get back on the writing wagon.
i just haven’t been feeling inspired lately, haven’t been allowing myself to really process emotion.
so this is raw and was written in one sitting – which means there most definitely are going to be flaws.
flaws make things relatable right? i hope so.

if you haven’t read any of bailey’s story – go here.

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::4 weeks prior:: 
the tv was on louder than she normally kept it. 
anything to help drown out the silence while isaac was away. 
this was the fourth business trip in three months.
she knew what she signed up for when she married him, his job took him away here and there, but lately it seemed a little much. 
a bowl of half-eaten popcorn was next to her, her hand mindlessly reaching in while she soaked in another romantic comedy. 
it’s cold in here she thought.
isaac’s flannel shirt hung loosely over her frame. 
she pulled the throw higher over her chest and settled into the couch a little deeper. 
the ringing woke her.
she must have fallen asleep in the middle of the film, with popcorn still in her hand.
she fumbled to find the phone in the sea of blankets.
…er..uh…hello?
she was answered with a click.
well that was weird she thought. 
she began to pick up the popcorn pieces, turn off the tv, and glanced at the clock. 
11:24pm, she was normally in bed an hour ago. 
the phone rang again.
hello she whispered.
why was she whispering? 
hello she said again, more firmly. 
bailey? it’s rachel. 
rachel had been a close friend since college, they often went out dancing together.
rachel, is everything ok? it’s late.
she heard shuffling, or muffled voices she couldn’t tell. 
uh, yeah i’m fine, i mean…im ok…where are you?
at home  bailey responded…do you need me? are you sure you’re ok? whats going on?
she heard rachel mutter a curse. rachel never cursed.
is isaac there?
no…why? he’s out of town.
another mumbled curse followed by a muffled i told you it was him.
rachel what is going on?!
she heard what sounded like a door close, the muffled voices were gone.
B, hannah and i drove over to brunswick to go swing dancing – you know that new place we talked about – it’s really awesome – anyways we’re here, dancing, and i swear i thought i just saw isaac, but it couldn’t be him. i don’t think its him but i can’t be sure, it really looks like him.
the flannel shirt slipped down her shoulder.
she pulled it back up while trying to figure out what exactly rachel was saying. 
he’s here B, i’m almost positive it’s him…and he’s not alone.
doubt rose, then anger, then more doubt. 
no, isaac is away on business, not at some dance spot. 
rachel, isaac is out of town on business, he wouldn’t be there…
no…bailey…i’m pretty sure it’s him. i mean i don’t want to be the one to start anything but i’m almost positive its him. 
heat rose up her throat.
take a picture rach, i need to know. or just facetime me and i can see for myself. 
rachel sighed – are you sure?
yes. she muttered. 
ok hold on
the notification came up on her phone and she accepted it. 
loud music pumped through the phones speaker, people were dancing, lots of people hovered the bar.
her eyes kept scanning trying to locate them. 
she saw rachels finger enter the screen and point to a location. 
she squinted but couldn’t make anything out.
that couldn’t be isaac. 
who could tell? 
rachel ended the facetime and called again.
did you see him?
uh – no – it’s all fuzzy. i don’t think it’s him rach, maybe you’e had a little too much to drink
no, B, i’m almost positive it’s him – i have an idea, does isaac know hannah?
she was thoroughly confused, no…why?
i’ll call you right back.
click.
she stared at her phone.
her mind was going 1,000 miles a minute.
isaac couldn’t be in brunswick, he was in decatur for business.
she fumbled through her phone and started a text.
the house is quiet without you here, i can’t wait for you to get home 
she typed out to him.
she waited.
after what seemed like an hour those three little dots appeared…
i miss you too Bay, a boring business trip has nothing on on you babe.
she breathed a sigh of relief. 
isaac was in decatur, on business, and he missed her.
rachel was probably tipsy and seeing things.
everything was fine. 
she carried the bowl into the kitchen and folded up the blankets.
while washing her face she heard her text alert go off. 
B- watch the video.
she opened the box and watched as hannah took the phone from rachel.
all she saw were hannah’s shoes, cute shoes at that, until she stopped at a table.
she couldn’t make out what was being said over the music.
the camera awkwardly moved up. 
her stomach rolled.
isaac was in the frame, smiling and shaking hands with hannah.
the camera moved awkwardly again.
it landed on a woman across the table then went back to hannah’s feet. 
maybe their wrong she thought.
but she knew they weren’t. 
i saw it she texted back.
there’s something else… rachel responded.
i don’t want to hear it she texted back.
she wasn’t sure how much more she could take.
they’ve been holding hands, and kissing B, KISSING, they are looking like they are about to leave…i’m so sorry, but i thought you should know, i’m so sorry! do you want me to come over? 
she sat there.
stared at the phone.
watched the video again.
and felt the vomit creep up her throat.
no, not tonight. thank you for telling me – please don’t mention it to anyone yet, i need…i need to think she hit send and ran for the bathroom.
wiping her mouth she sank onto the floor.
it couldn’t be isaac.
but it was.
and he was with her.
what did this mean? 
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happy writing friends.

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bailey | speaking

i have another installment in bailey’s story for you today.
bailey – her story weighs on my heart.
it is continually knocking, asking to be written, to be explained, to be felt.
i’m still at a cross roads as to where this is going to go – but i felt like this moment needed to be shared.
if you have yet to meet bailey, read part one & part two first, backstories are crucial.

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the silence consumed the moment. 
his feet shuffled causing the leaves on the rose stems to bristle together. 
such a weird sound to break this weighted silence. 
can i come in? he asked. 
she stepped back, allowing a sliver of space for him to pass.
his steps were purposeful as he made his way through the foyer, turning the corner that led to the den; almost as if he was reclaiming what she forced him out of. 
she stood there, collecting herself, rearranging the features on her face to be set in a neutral – give nothing away reflection. 
deep breath in.
deep breath out.
the faucet in the kitchen was running and she heard the cabinets open and close, with the clink of glass hitting the counter; she knew he was putting the three roses in water, how thoughtful. 
up until this point she was wading through denial and isolation.
there was no way isaac, her isaac, could cheat. the isaac who rubbed her back, comforted her in sickness, took her on surprise day trips, bought flowers and chocolates just because – the isaac she fell in love with. 
no, that isaac would never run after another woman. so who was this isaac. 
she found her way to her usual seat on the couch – leery of the fact that he was sitting only a few feet away. 
he was staring at her.
taking in the damage she assumed.
now she felt stupid for letting the last three weeks waste her away – because she knew what he saw – brokenness. 
she wanted to be strong, to feel strong, or to at the very least – appear strong. 
strength had been the last emotion on her list. 
you look nice…
he smiled.
she winced.
don’t lie to me isaac, we both know i look like garbage
the words felt like acid on her tongue.
full of bitterness and pain. 
she watched him take the snap, absorb it, shake it off, and continue.
no, bay, you do not look like garbage.
anger rose.
words spilt over.
you’ve made me feel like it.
she settled him with a look that could peel paint off the walls. 
his eyes glistened. 
i’m so sorry, he responded.
his palms wiped down the thighs of his jeans, she could tell he was fighting the urge to move closer to her.
you haven’t responded to my calls or texts he half whispered.
she saw a broken man.
but a man still hanging on to pride. 
it took him 3 weeks to come to her door, their door.
why so long?
she had spent many nights restless thinking of it. 
was he with her.
you didn’t respond to the vows of our marriage isaac.
her anger was rising – anger she didn’t realize she had until she saw him. 
him – sitting there – looking, feeling she was sure, hurt and confused. but who was HE to feel that way, she thought, he knew what he was doing, she was blind sighted. 
he sighed letting his head fall into the cradle of his hands. 
Bay, you have every right to be angry.
she noticed the thickening hair on his jaw line – so out of character.
just like everything else. 
the silence continued.
Sam said she hasn’t heard from you.
sam – why would she want to talk to the friend who set them up.
their life was crumbling.
he stared at her. 
as if he was willing the words to escape her mouth.
what did he want her to say? 
i love you? i’ve missed you? i’ve had nightmares with your empty spot next to me? 
tears formed in her eyes. 
you broke everything isaac.

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happy writing friends.

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fiction | at first sight

i don’t have another installment of cayden & james or bailey for you today.
i’ve been trying to expand my writing, be challenged, really dig deep.
so i found a list of writing prompts that i’m working through and i thought i would share one with y’all today. hopefully you’ll enjoy it – i enjoyed writing it.

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writing prompt: write about the first time you saw him.

it was dark. 
after 6pm in march as she drove to the airport to pick him up. 
Tina was in the back seat – her security blanket for meeting him face to face. 
they were about to spend a week together and she was terrified of their first meeting. 
what if she wasn’t pretty enough, thin enough, creative enough, alluring enough.
yes all these things a typical 18 year old thought of – vanity. 
her hands gripped the steering wheel tighter and tighter as the miles ticked off towards the airport. 
she called him “i’m almost there – where are you?”  she could hear the smile in his voice as he answered “at the american airlines terminal – outside…i think i see your car” 
her heart was in her throat.
i can’t do this she whispered.
you have to – he FLEW here tina laughed. 
she was going to be sick. 
she saw his silhouette against the outside lights, duffle bag draped over his shoulder. her eyes didn’t reach his face.
deep breath in – deep breath out. 
she parked her car and got out to help him put his bag in the trunk, not that he needed it. 
his shoes were blue – tennis shoes, covered by faded dark jeans that were sitting low on his hips. he was wearing a zippered jacket.
she still didn’t meet his eyes. 
his arms snaked around her back and pulled her into his chest – he smelt good. 
she felt him move as he started to laugh. 
“hi” he whispered into her hair. 
“hi back” she spoke into his chest. 
his hand ran over her curls – finding rest at the small of her back 
“we should probably get back in the car now right?” he said tugging on a curl. 
“probably” she responded. 
her feet shuffled away from him. once she was back behind the wheel she checked her mirrors and left the airport.
her knuckles white around the steering wheel. 
“are you ever going to look at me?” he asked.
“uh – yes …i’m just driving” she responded nervously. 
“are you nervous?” he laughed.
“well..no ..i mean yes a little bit” she half laughed half croaked. 
his hand covered her knee – and he squeezed. 
“look at me” 
she slowly turned her head while keeping her eyes on the road..
…and she glanced towards his direction. 
“i’ll take that for now” he said keeping his hand on her knee. 
When they got to the music hall she got out of the car a bundle of nerves. 
he came around the back and took her hand in his. 
her eyes examining the concrete.
“look at me” he smiled. 
slowly, very slowly, she made her way from his shoes, to his pants, to his jacket, to his strong chin, to his high cheek bones, to his eyes. those ocean blue eyes.
“there she is – why are you so nervous, it’s just me!” he pulled her close.
she embraced him then pulled back staring at his face.
“i can’t believe this is finally happening – you’re really here” 
they walked hand in hand into the hall – excited for the next 7 days. 
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hopefully you enjoyed the story. check out the fiction tab up top for more.

get your posts ready for frankly friday tomorrow – i know mine is going to be really raw. 

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