Right Now

So, where am I?
Monday I mentioned that I was going to do a real post on where I am right now.
To say it plainly – I am all over the place.
Since quitting my job, getting married and moving 1,019.6 miles away I’ve found myself in military housing with a husband, a cat, and a lot of alone time.
My days kind of look like this:
Wake up, go for a 2 mile walk listening to a podcast, maybe spend some time with Jesus – or maybe not (i’m in a rough spiritual spot right now), eat breakfast, do some blog work, go to the gym, run errands, come home and do more “work” and then clean and take care of the house.
I put quotations around work because I don’t feel like I’m actually doing anything.
I guess I should re-phrase that – I’m not making money and that is a hard pill for me to swallow.
I have never NOT worked since I was 15. For 13 years I have never been un-employed and I pride myself on being a hard worker and being able to take care of the bills myself. So what an interesting turn to leave the corporate world and be sitting in a different state with no job.
That’s not to say I don’t plan on getting something part time – but I knew I would only be in Maine for a few months before our next move so there just wasn’t enough mental space for me to get acclimated to all the changes. From leaving the only home I’ve ever known, to getting married and learning how to be a wife, to leaving all of my friends behind knowing that the relationships would fade out, and then to try and find a job that I would be able to keep for maybe 2 months – I just couldn’t do all of that in 3 months. Well I guess I could, but I didn’t have to.

I’ve gotten really comfortable here in the short time I’ve called this place home.
Maine is gorgeous and so full of life and cute shops and health food stores and it is super pedestrian and bicycle friendly. I’ve gotten to chat with my upstairs neighbor a good bit and enjoy the socialization. I’ve met some fellow creatives who are just super sweet – and while I haven’t developed actual friendships with anyone, I started to grow some smallllllll legs in that department.

And now we’re moving again.

I’ve started collecting boxes to start the packing process.
Thankfully I was able to pick the apartment this time (no more base housing!) and even though the closest trader joes is 30 minutes away (SAY IT ISN’T SO!) I think it will be nice to try to get back out there and find a church, meet some creatives, get a part-time job, and just…learn.
Learn.
I HAVE SO MUCH TO LEARN.
Going from 28 years of civilian life to military-wife life overnight is a game changer and there are moments when I just stare at Eddie opened-mouthed saying “You’ve been doing this for almost 12 years and it’s second nature for you, but you’ve GOT to teach me these things.”

Speaking of Eddie & myself, everyone wants to know how married life is going.
I can answer that in two sentences:
I am beyond thankful that I have entered into a covenant with a man who loves the Lord, treats me as an equal, loves me faithfully, pursues me, makes me laugh like a wild child, and is just my other half – our marriage is good and strong and growing and beautiful and loving.
It is also challenging.
Not in a bad way, just the learning-how-to-be-married-with-life way.
Eddie has been in shift work since 3/1.
Which means every. single. day. he is out of the house around 430am and gets home between 430-6pm.; since March 1st he has had 2 days off. So starting our marriage with military shift work that is super stressful on Eddie is an interesting season.
I’m not bitter or angry about it, frustrated sometimes because I would like a day to just explore this area with my husband instead of going about it solo. Then I remind myself that while we were dating and engaged that every single time I came up here we explored together and I know that this is only temporary. He is a trooper though. He still comes home happy to see me and goes out of his way to see how he can serve me, while I go out of my way to try to serve him. We’re still lovey dovey and heart eyed, but with all of this time being isolated from family and friends it feels like we’ve been married 5 years instead of 3 months.
Our first year of marriage will consist of: 3 moves, lots of shift work, a few months apart from each other, family sickness, and learning how to be married.  So it’s just a lot of transition stuff.

So that is a small glimpse on where I am right now in life.
I’m about to finish watching an intervention episode, go to the gym, and then come home and clean and start the packing process. Tomorrow will be much of the same, and maybe even throwing in some job hunting….who knows.

Thank y’all for reading my ramblings – for being present and real with me, and for letting me just WRITE without caring about sentence structure or if it all makes sense.
Sometimes you just need to type without caring what all comes out ya’know?

  • Oh girl I can totally relate. My adjustment to military wife life was sooooo rough at first. We just found out we’re moving AGAIN and this time we’re being sent on Recruiting duty in a VERY rural town in Iowa for 3 years. It’s definitely tough adjusting to marriage, plus the stressors that military life brings like not being near friends/family, having to make new friends, and finding new jobs/unemployment. If you ever need to vent let me know because we are in the same boat!!!

    • Oh girl yes, I know you’ve been in some of the same shoes!
      I don’t mind the moving part – It’s just all the adjustments haha and the lack of social interaction for real. hahaha
      man oh man rural areas, ooff girl! You can do it though (this is why i’m thankful for the Navy) haha.
      That being said, rural can be super chill and super fun!

  • You have had a lot of adjustment recently! That is tough to feel like you don’t have any close family or friends around. And being married is hard. We didn’t have a great first year of marriage because we just were getting used to each other and we had some stressful times. We are such opposites! But it’s also really fun and as you learn more and more about each other it will get better (and more challenging too! ha). 🙂

    • YES
      Lots and lots of adjustments.
      Being married can definitely be hard, we’re in that still figuring it out stage but it’s a good stage.
      I’m looking forward to some days when we feel like we do see each other to much because right now we don’t see each other enough haha. <3
      YES I'm super excited for the fun!

  • I can’t relate but I can pray. I know we’ve been talking and checking in with each other, but I hadn’t realized just how MANY changes you’re going through and trying to process (and think about in the future, too!). Being in the thick of change is hard and doing any ONE of those things (moving, getting married, becoming a military wife, leaving home, etc.) is hard, let alone doing all of those things at once!

    That said, sending lots of hugs your way. I hope you know just how STRONG you are, just how strong GOD is, and just how STRONG your marriage is and is becoming. I know you’ll look back at this season someday and see how faithful He is and how much growth became of it! <3

    • ::hugs::
      Thank you Kiki. <3
      Prayer is so important and I (we) definitely need it.
      Yeah I haven't really expressed how MUCH is going on - and there is even more but I just haven't shared it all lol.
      Yes - I'm so dang thankful for Gods strength! I NEED it every day!

  • Thank you for being so honest. Will you all be stationed in your next location for a little bit longer? Or is it too early to know?

    • Thanks Catherine.
      The honesty is the hard part sometimes isn’t it?
      We will only be at our next place for just a handful of months…then our next location is a little bit longer so that will be good!

  • Jen

    Sending good thoughts and hugs to you! I hope you make your adjustments and adapt to everything. I will be thinking of you.
    Shoot me an email if you want to “chat”.

  • A – I love your honesty. I know we have talked a couple times about the changes, but always know your prayed for. Love you, friend!

    • I covet your prayers. <3
      Thank you so much Jess...you are truly a joy!

  • Change and transition can be brutal and so uncomfortable. I sympathize. I think you are handling all of it beautifully – the simple decision to trust God through the chaos and enjoy the ride makes all the difference (of course, the practice of that choice is much less simple, lol).

    • Thank you so much for those sweet words Lacey.
      I am really trying to put my trust in the Lord during this season – it’s hard – but man it can be really good.