Embracing The Loneliness

It’s not something people talk about within a marriage – but it happens a lot in military marriages.
I am no expert; Eddie & I have only been married just over a month and have been living together for three weeks – but man I’ve learned a lot in the last month.
Since I’ve moved to Maine Eddie has had stressful work with long hours (430am-8-11pm) and is about to walk into 30+ days of shiftwork; which means I’ve spent (and will continue to spend) a lot of time alone.
I’m used to being surrounded by my family & friends and filling my time with lots of things to do. I thrive in social situations and re-charge with time alone – and currently I’m feeling a little supercharged.

I spend my time unpacking and settling into our new apartment (that we are leaving soon!), annoying tobi, working on the blog, cleaning, and exploring our area. But if i’m honest – I go stir crazy a lot. I wait by the front door like a puppy for Eddie to get home and give him lots of hugs and kisses. We spend our evenings watching netflix, cuddling, and building our marriage – and i’m looking forward to the days we are able to spend together where he gets a break from work.

Yet my days are still tinted with this haze of occasional loneliness.
I never realized how much we need human interaction until we don’t really have it.
In attempts to get some social interaction i’ve been going to the gym a lot and have tried to ride my bike down to the local cafe to work on blog / photography stuff and just be around others. I’m also incredibly overly friendly in grocery stores – always asking people what they are buying and giving my input; i’m sure i’m on stores “people watch” list. 🙂

This whole season is new and unknown.
I have no idea how to combat all of the loneliness of quiet days by myself.
I’m learning more and more about military life and military wife life – and it’s a completely different world. I’m trying to meet other Navy wives and looking into how to join facebook groups, local meet-ups, etc but it’s a challenge. I’ve talked to 3 wives who live in the housing unit we’re in – 2 when we were shoveling snow out of our driveways 2 weeks ago (and haven’t seen/spoken since), and the other one is very standoffish. I’m not used to not having friends to hang out with.

So even though all of the alone time can seem deafening I really am doing my best to enjoy and grow within this loneliness.
There are some beautiful things that can transpire when you embrace the season you’re in; and I really really want to embrace this season. I want to learn more about myself and Eddie and our marriage. I want to learn more about Jesus and grace. I want to be intentional with my time and not waste it and fall into the laziness trap and just become a couch potato (it’s so easy for me to do!).
I guess to close this rambling out I want to say thank you.
Thank y’all for bearing with me – for pressing in and being my support system of friends all over the place. It’s always so reassuring that i can hop onto my computer and keep in touch with some amazing people who interact with me.

To be totally cheesy I have to throw out a thank you to my husband who truly makes me feel more alive and full of joy than I thought possible. My loneliness is in no way tied to him – it’s tied to the life in Charleston I still hold close to me and embracing the newness of making new friends and not seeing my family as often. Eddie goes above and beyond to make me feel loved, supported, and full of fire. He makes it all good – he truly is my home.

Being by myself all the time means lots of dancing and being weird; today you got a small glimpse into pictures of that weirdness 😉

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